There are many doubts, all understandable, but the president’s words made our country take its first toddling steps toward reconciliation.
On Oct. 25, President Joe Biden apologized for America’s treatment of Native American people in residential boarding schools. The reactions in Indian Country have been mixed. Charting a path forward will require all of us to “lean in” to important conversations and move toward action.
There was much to apologize for. The U.S. made attendance at school compulsory for Native Americans in the late 1800s and created residential schools for them, enrolling 20,000 Indigenous kids per year at their peak and subcontracting school development and management to churches in many places because the government didn’t have sufficient capacity. The U.S. government paid for much of it as a debit from monies it owed Natives from treaties, land contracts, leases and timber harvests on Native land — making Natives pay for their own assimilation. Carlisle, Haskell and other schools kept cemeteries for the kids. Many died. Many more got sick. Few got to see their parents. None got to speak their own languages. Canada’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission made a formal finding that the schools there orchestrated cultural genocide. America was no different, we just haven’t owned ours. Until now.
Native voices blew up on social media in response to the apology, but they were not all saying the same thing. Many said they would not accept an apology: It should have happened 150 years ago. It was opportunistic to occur shortly before a major election even if Biden wasn’t on the ticket. America has no moral authority to try to make anything right, because it has supported Israel’s genocide of the Palestinian people. America has always lied to Natives, so this wasn’t any different. How could it be a sincere apology if it wasn’t accompanied by reparations and restorative justice measures?
I get all of those arguments, and I don’t dismiss any of them or the genuine hurt and anger behind them. The feelings are valid. But if we believe that nothing is acceptable, nothing is what we’ll get. We will chase everyone away from the reconciliation table, then complain about eating alone.
America is having a tough time right now. Our politics are divisive and the challenges for our citizens and democracy itself are real. This country has been steeped in “shut up” culture from its genesis to the present, and that culture infects everyone. When marginalized groups call for redress of historical injustice, someone is telling them to shut up, that it all happened in the past. When they draw attention to contemporary oppressions, someone is telling them to shut up and quit playing the race card. America is ashamed of itself — of its roots in genocide and slavery. Shut-up culture is just the instinctive defense mechanism of an emotional toddler experiencing shame.
When a toddler takes their first steps and falls down, we don’t say, “Shame on you, you can do better. I won’t talk to you for a year until you get this all the way right.” We say, “Good job, baby. Don’t stop there. Take another step. I believe in you.” And pretty soon that toddler is off to the races. Biden made an apology, ineloquent and imperfect, but those words made our country take its first toddling steps toward reconciliation.
Those first steps do mean something to some of us. My grandmother, Luella Seelye, went to residential boarding school. She wanted to hear an apology from an American president, but the toddler was still crawling when she passed away. I think we should encourage those first tentative steps. We should ask for more. Don’t stop there. Across the country tribes are working, investing, praying, building and rebuilding their communities, culture and language revitalization efforts and more. Restorative justice is long overdue. For second steps, let’s fund those Indigenous language revitalization efforts, strengthen and support Native nations, and continue the heroic strides made to disrupt systemic poverty.
Instead of looking at the apology for what it isn’t, we should look at the apology for what it is — an opportunity to set a new tone for our country and start a healing journey. I understand Native folks who want things to move faster and differently. But it won’t lead to healing to take 500 years of shut-up culture and answer it with retorts of “shut up.” Nobody can or should be compelled to accept an apology if they don’t feel it; but nobody should be compelled to reject one if they do. It will serve everyone best if we engage with reconciliation in spite of the impulse to pull away. And non-Native folks will need to push through fear and shame to lean in with us. The only way through this is together.